Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We are two peas in an std pod
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize