was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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