yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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