can u get pink eye on your cock?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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