my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
