Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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