I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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