he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
