She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
