I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That accounts for only three of the penises
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
