i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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