sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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