what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
