You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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