I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
