I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
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