so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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