I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
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I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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