i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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