plz talk dirty to me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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