I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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