PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
