i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize