It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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