Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
