I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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