idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
