I puked a lego.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni