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I feel great
I just peed on a car
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
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