I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
