I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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