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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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• (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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• (646): View more from New York

  They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (661): View more from California

  When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  whatcha doing?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  lying in bed pretending to be a slug

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• (315): View more from New York

  I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.

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