Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
