I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.