cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
