Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
