Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
