therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
