12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
