when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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