Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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