belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
