yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
