my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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