So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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