im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
