Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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