I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
