It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
