The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
are you so shy because you have an std?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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