worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
