Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.