At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.