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• (408): View more from California

  At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

  Fav 10 982 2034

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• (631): View more from New York

  U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ya, gonna go have sex there?

  (631): View more from New York

  No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home

  Fav 4 1265 1767

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I knew I fell for you for a reason

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (817): View more from Texas

  just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me

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• (661): View more from California

  I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.

  Fav 3 1743 1417

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (619): View more from California

  He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned

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• (954): View more from Florida

  When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.

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