it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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