I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
