can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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