Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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