I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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