i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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