you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
