tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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