I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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