No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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