there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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