I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
