idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
