Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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